Thursday, August 5, 2010

LASHON HARA: When you’re constantly criticizing others...

Today is the 25th of Av, 5770
Kol Haposel Bemumo Posel (Talmud, Aboda Zara 70b)
There is a sound psychology in this Talmudic observation that if a man goes around constantly finding a particular fault in others, it is his own fault that he projects. Whatever blemish you attribute to another it’s probably a blemish that you yourself posses.
Unconsciously, unaware of his inadequacy and lacking the courage to change, a troubled individual compensates for his own fault by finding fault in others, thereby feeling superior to them and diminishing his own unconscious guilt.
It was said about politicians that ‘the louder they would scream about family values, the more likely they are to be found in a compromising situation in a hotel room in Las Vegas’ .
If you are obsessed about peoples’ actions in a very particular area or you’re too suspicious of their inner motivation and you can’t stop criticizing and talking badly about them, you might have a serious personal problem in that particular sensitive area which perhaps you’re not strong enough to admit…
For example: If you find yourself ‘obsessively’ critical of people giving Tsedaka (charity) to your Synagogue and you say to yourself (and to others!): “I’m sure he is given such amount of money just to show off that he is rich”. You probably have a “show off” problem so strong to solve that you’re unconsciously trying to hide.
Your impulsive criticism about others might reveal a great deal about the strongest flaws you should deal with.