In
many Jewish communities it is customary for the groom to fast the day
before the wedding. This is because according to the Talmud
Yerushalmi (Bikkurim 3:3), on the day that a person is married, all
of his or her sins are forgiven. The fast is a sign of repentance and
atonement. "With marriage one is beginning a new phase in life.
Marriage involves a complete change in lifestyle, and the person is
given a chance to start it with a pure soul. The love that the couple
has for one another on their wedding day can annul any misplaced
passion that they had in the past". The couple also fast for the
future, to deserve "divine guidance that they may be able to
overcome problems as they arise" (Rabbi
Aryeh Kaplan, Made in Heaven, page 83).
In Ashkenazi communities this fast is very important.
In
most Sephardic communities, however, the custom is not to fast. Rabbi
Obadya Yosef is very clear about this point and recommends the
Sephardic grooms to avoid fasting. Other Sephardic rabbis like
Rabbi Chayim haLevy are even stricter and they forbid the
groom to fast. The reason is that they consider that the couple has
to be strong to endure all the pressure of the wedding, the party,
etc. The process of Teshuba, they reason, can still be achieved by
devoting themselves in this important day of their life to
study Tora and elevate prayers to God. Rabbi Yosef also recommends
that if the groom and bride still desire to fast, they should
consider to do a "a fast of words" (ta'anit
dibbur) not
of food, which represents an even higher sign of self control,
repentance and contrition.
In
many communities, Ashkenazi and Sephardic, it is customary that the
bride and the groom recite the Viduy (prayer of regret and
confession, see here)
from the Mincha service of Yom Kippur or other similar texts.
The
marriage crisis and why singles today don't want to commit,
by
Rabbi Benjamin Blech